the road less traveled

Needing, desiring, knowing I should take the high road has been a theme in my life lately....though taking the high road is not necessarily what I have done.

It is one thing to be forced to take the high road and another thing to have to choose to do so.

At work, it seems easy to take the high road. The consequence of not taking the "high road" at work....getting fired (which to some might not seem so bad because I would gain a lot more sleep and free time). So when a customer is rude, yells, makes snide remarks about how crappy our store is it is "easy" to grin in bear it. Well I guess it is easy to choose to take the high road and just move on with a smile to the next customer or drink to be made. Done deal.

It is those other times...when your job isn't on the line, no one will punish you for not reacting in love, grace or mercy and there is no punishment that the high road becomes a little harder to choose.

My instinct is anger, spite, sass, contempt, justification...the list goes on. I dwell on the situation, I let my anger or resentment brew within me and that so quickly takes over any hint of love within me. This is when my flesh takes over and I stop dying to myself and take my life and actions into my worldly hands. Sometimes my instinct remains internal and I have to painstakingly force my outward actions to be what I "know" to be the right response. Then I still become frustrated that doing the right thing, loving people, treating people with value and respect is such a painful thing for me to do. It is nicer to think that loving people is easy for me or that it comes naturally, seemingly effortless.

How is it that one gets to the point of their instinct lining up with what the right response should be? I know that part of the beauty of God's power is needing him to intercede and dying to myself daily...for now it my "me" still frustrates me.

Taking the high road, the road less traveled, turning the other cheek, loving our neighbor. These are
things I know I need to do
things I know I want to do
things I am often too selfish and proud to do
things I will never be able to do in my own love, but are in fact possible to live out....

please forgive me when I fail.